Warning signs

People who are abusive frequently exhibit “warning signs” of this type of future behavior. One or two signs do not make someone an abuser, but beware of someone who shows multiple warning signs.

These are some of the warning signs of controlling behaviors:

• Criticism
• Name-calling
• Swearing
• Mocking
• Put-downs
• Ridicule
• Accusations
• Blaming
• Humiliation
• Lying
• Withholding information
• Infidelity
• Unreasonable jealousy
• Withholding money or use of the car
• Interference with work
• Intimidation
• Threats of violence
• Destroying possessions

The following are warning signs of unhealthy behaviors that could lead to violence:

• Loss of temper on a frequent basis
• Physical fighting
• Significant vandalism or property damage
• Increase in use of drugs or alcohol
• Increase in risk-taking behavior
• Detailed plans to commit acts of violence
• Announcing threats or plans for hurting others
• Enjoyment of hurting animals
• Carrying a weapon
• Serious drug or alcohol use
• Gang membership or strong desire to be in a gang
• Access to or fascination with weapons, especially guns
• Threatening others regularly
• Trouble controlling feelings like anger
• Withdrawal from friends and usual activities
• Feeling rejected or alone
• Having been a victim of bullying
• Poor school or employment performance
• History of disciplinary problems or frequent run-ins with authorities
• Feeling constantly disrespected
• Failing to acknowledge the feelings or rights of others
• A history of violent or aggressive behavior